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Whats a gaslighter9/17/2023 Knowledge is power, and when you know what gaslighting is, you’re less likely to be manipulated by it. Maintaining a personal journal to stay grounded in your own reality may be helpful, too. This lets you document the reality of the situation, and also process it. Keep a record of the gaslighter’s behavior, either by saving correspondence or keeping notes from phone calls or interactions. When confronted, a gaslighter will maintain their story and play the victim, which leads to further anger and frustration on your end. Unfortunately, it often results in more lies and confusion. Don’t Confront ThemĬonfronting a gaslighter and calling them out on their lies may seem like a great idea. Pay attention to your inner voice, and tune into and trust what you’re feeling. It may take some time to do so, but learn to trust in yourself. Trust Your Version of EventsĪ gaslighter is going to try to make you question your version of reality. The following are eight tips for dealing with gaslighting family members: 1. This can be achieved by setting realistic expectations of the relationship, having limited interactions, and practicing self-care before, during, and after these interactions. The priority with any relationship should be protecting your own mental health, first. Because many gaslighters are also narcissistic, it may be valuable to first learn some tips on how to deal with narcissistic parents and other loved ones. How to Deal With Gaslighting Family Membersĭealing with a gaslighting family member is not an easy task. They subtly blame you for their bad behavior by making statements like: “I only did that because I want to spend time with you, get attention from you, show you how much I love you, etc.” Again, this ‘excuses’ their negative behavior, leading you to question their actual intentions.This may convince you that their abuse never happened or you’re overreacting to it They respond with, “you’re being dramatic” when you express your feelings.They use your personal weaknesses to prey on you, and lead you to believe that others see you in a negative light by saying things like, “everyone thinks you’re…”.Statements like, “I never said that”, used to destabilize you and question previous events.1Įxamples of a gaslighting family member include: The gaslighter’s ultimate goal is to control, and they will often manipulate situations to do so. The manipulations often start small, but slowly erode one’s sense of reality and convince them to accept their manipulator’s reality as fact. The fact that gaslighting is occurring within your family may take some time to realize, as many typically expect to be treated honestly and fairly by loved ones. They may also be narcissistic, as those with narcissistic traits or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) use this abuse tactic a lot. In families, gaslighters cause other members to doubt their own perceptions, memories, or recollections of events. What Do Gaslighting Family Members Look Like? It is frequently a technique used by toxic or abusive parents to exert power or control over familial relationships. 2 Gaslighting typically occurs in romantic relationships, but it can also take place in friendships and families. This can lead to a decrease in self-esteem, impacted mental and emotional health, and a dependency on the manipulator. Gaslighting is the use of extended psychological manipulation on a person by another, that results in one questioning their perception of events, memories, and feelings.
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